The Grumpy Old Man
Portrayed by Dana Carvey. He was an embittered archetypical grandfather figure with white hair, glasses, and a sour sneer. He would usually appear as a commentator complaining about the state of the world, mainly in regard to many modern conveniences. His complaints always included differences between today and "his day" ("In my day, we didn't have safety standards for toys. We got rusty nails and big bags of broken glass! That's the way it was, and we liked it! We loved it!" or, "In my day we didn't have hair dryers, if you wanted to blow-dry your hair, you had to step outside in the middle of a hurricane! You would get your hair dried but you would also get a sharp piece of wood driven clean through your skull--'Look, I'm a human head kebab!'--that's the way it was and we liked it, we loved it! " or "In my day we didn't need moving pictures, in my day there was only one show in town and it was called STARE AT THE SUN! That's right! You'd sit in the middle of an open field and stare up at the sun til your eyeballs burst into flames!