Ken Mortimer/The Falconer
Occupation: Network Exexcutive/Homeless
Catch Phrase(s): You will be the falcon and I shall remain
Appearance(s): November 9, 2002
January 18, 2003
May 3, 2003
May 17, 2003
November 15, 2003
November 20, 2004
April 16, 2005
November 12, 2005
May 20, 2006
Portrayer(s): Will Forte

The Falconer was a recurring sketch in the early 2000s starring Will Forte as a man who "was a rising star in the Baltimore advertising business" and then received a mysterious package, left his job and his wife and went to the forest, and met a falcon named Donald.

The sketches usually being with Forte trapped in some way and asking the Falcon to find some way to get him out. The falcon leaves and does something personal (eating at a high class restaurant, going to a college party) then near the very end comes back with something for the Falconer to free himself with.