The 4th episode of Season 9 and the 163rd episode of Saturday Night Live premiered on November 5, 1983, hosted by actress and director Betty Thomas, star of the NBC's serial police procedural series Hill Street Blues, with musical guest Stray Cats, a rockabilly band. Betty Thomas made her first appearance as host, and this was the only time as musical guest on SNL for Stray Cats.
Cold Open Sketch Pre-recorded Weekend Update Music Performance Other
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Summary
Astronaut Cold Open
Most of the Democratic candidates look alike, but not Jesse Jackson (Joe Piscopo).
Opening Montage
A "portions pre-recorded" disclaimer appears tonight.
Monologue by Betty Thomas
Hosting for the first time, actress Betty Thomas uses a few visual aides to bring her Hill Street Blues recognition factor to SNL.
Memroirex
Security camera video footage shows an obtuse Lee Iaccoca (Joe Piscopo) frustrating FBI agents' (Brad Hall and Jim Belushi) drug sting.
James Brown's Celebrity Hot Tub Party
James Brown's Celebrity Hot Tub Party - SNL
The Godfather of Soul (Eddie Murphy) funks his way into the hot tub.
Curly Audition
Elvis-like Sergio (Joe Piscopo) auditions for the role of Curly in a Three Stooges-tribute musical.
Special Report
A breaking story: the United States has invaded Switzerland to avenge a shortchanged tourist (Gary Kroeger).
Stray Cats Performed "(She's) Sexy + 17
Unanswered Questions
Havnagootiim Vishnuuerheer (Tim Kazurinsky) ponders some of the universe's great mysteries and invites viewers to submit their own.
You Win A Dollar
Dale Butterworth (Jim Belushi) endures torturous game show challenges for the chance to win one dollar.
Perfectly Frank
Advertising executive (Joe Piscopo) seduces psychology professor (Betty Thomas) during a panel discussion of subliminal messaging.
Swan Break
A welder-turned-dancer (Jim Belushi) incorporates Flashdance moves into her debut Swan Lake performance with the Pittsburgh Ballet.
Saturday Night News With Brad Hall
Jim Belushi is brought out to debate America's "get tough" foreign policy, but after rudely interrupting Brad Hall's opening resolution ("OH COME ON! GIVE ME A BREAK"), he tries to rebut using catchphrases from the old SNL cast ("Brad, you ignorant slut.") This gets a good response from the audience at first, but the whole bit stretches the joke a little too thin. Ronald Reagan (Joe Piscopo) holds a press conference to discuss the Swiss crisis. This has a few quick jokes (the "shore of Switzerland", the tourist board letter that prompted the invasion, the weapons build-up being Swiss Army Knives) before leading into Slopes Of Fear, a propaganda film that's a little too slow and dry but gets laughs at the part with the subtitle yodeling. Reagan concludes by denying this is another distraction from Grenada, Beirut, and high unemployment, which felt a little on-the-nose to me.
Jane Fonda's Pregnancy, Birth, Labor, Re-Entering The Job Market, Trying To Catch A Man, Trying To Keep A Man, Making New Friends, Holding Your Breath, And Going Over Your Credit Limit Work Out
Jane Fonda (Betty Thomas) ignores obvious signs that one of her workout demonstrators (Robin Duke) has gone into labor.
The Gumby Story
Gumby (Eddie Murphy) tyrannically calls the shots during the filming of his film biography.
Crisis '83 Update
Brad Hall reports on the latest developments in the U.S. Invasion of Switzerland; Reagan (Joe Piscopo) announces that the country is now under the control of the U.S. Marines and solicits suggestions for the next invasion.
Stray Cats Performed "I Won't Stand in Your Way"
Misfits
At a support group meeting, male-to-female transsexuals express their post-transition frustrations.
Goodnights
Someone prompts Betty as to when she can begin; she ecstatically thanks Dick Ebersol and the audience (Gary Kroeger reminds her to mention Bob Tischler), and mentions the writers "worked their butts off". Gary Kroeger says "Happy birthday, I love you, Leslie!"
