March 4, 2006 Season 31 episode
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| Episode | 598 |
| Season Episode | 13 |
| Host | Natalie Portman |
| Musical Guest(s) | Fall Out Boy |
| Song(s) performed by Musical Guest(s) |
"Dance Dance" "Sugar, We're Going Down" |
| Previous Episode February 4, 2006 |
Next Episode March 11, 2006 |
The 598th episode and 13th episode of Saturday Night Live's 31st season premiered on March 4, 2006, hosted by Israeli-born American actress Natalie Portman, with musical guest Fall Out Boy, the legendary rock band, who performed "Dance Dance" and "Sugar, We're Going Down". Fall Out Boy made their only musical guest stint on SNL, and this was Natalie Portman’s first time hosting.
Cast[]
Repertory Players[]
- Fred Armisen
- Rachel Dratch
- Tina Fey
- Will Forte
- Darrell Hammond
- Seth Meyers
- Finesse Mitchell
- Chris Parnell
- Amy Poehler
- Maya Rudolph
- Horatio Sanz
- Kenan Thompson
Featured Players[]
Sketches and Musical Performances[]
Cold Open Sketch Pre-recorded Weekend Update Music Performance Other
| Title | Image | Summary |
|---|---|---|
| A Message From the President of the United States Cold Opening | George W. Bush (Will Forte) addresses the public on issues of secret White House activity and Vice-President Dick Cheney’s (Darrell Hammond) hunting accident. | |
| Natalie Portman's Monologue | Hosting for the first time, actress Natalie Portman surprises two nerds in the audience with her knowledge of Star Wars, then answers questions on why she shaved her head and if she still has any if her wardrobe from The Professional. | |
| Nelson's Baby Toupees | Rerun from January 21, 2006. | |
| Jamba Juice | The overpsyched Jamba Juice employees (Natalie Portman, Seth Meyers, Horatio Sanz), who have ingested excessive amounts of their own high-energy protein drinks, can’t stop themselves from offering free boost supplements to their customers. | |
| Larry King Live | Larry King (Fred Armisen) interviews a group of transgendered people (Natalie Portman, Rachel Dratch, Will Forte, Amy Poehler, and Kristen Wiig) who are in the middle of their sex change procedures. | |
| The Needlers | Argumentized married couple Dan (Seth Meyers) and Sally Needler (Amy Poehler) seek help from a fertility doctor (Natalie Portman) so they can have a baby rather than examine the issue of their trouble marriage. | |
| TV Funhouse | Celebrating a belated Black History moment, actor Dennis Haysbert shows clips from all-black kids' cartoons that failed to make an impact during the 1990's. | |
| The Art Dealers: Daughter's New Boyfriend | Nunni (Natalie Portman) brings her college boyfriend Jeff (Jason Sudeikis) home to meet her parents Nuni and Nuni Schoener (Fred Armisen and Maya Rudolph). | |
| Fall Out Boy performed "Dance, Dance" | ||
| Weekend Update with Tina Fey and Amy Poehler | With guests, Donald Trump (Darrell Hammond) disguises himself as Martha Stewart in order to pump his own ego over their "Apprentice" feud. Olympic contender Sasha Cohen (Natalie Portman) attempts to tell a couple of jokes. Kenan Thompson introduces a new line of clothing that targets black men in drag, ball pouch and all. | |
| Bar Mitzvah | Now a man, Sheldon (Rachel Dratch) watches his short-term ex-girlfriend (Natalie Portman) make out with his friend (Andy Samberg), while Megan (Maya Rudolph) dreams of being Mrs. Adam Levine. | |
| SNL Digital Short: Natalie's Rap | Natalie Portman sheds her "good girl" image as she raps about doing drugs and cheating on tests at Harvard, among all the other scandalous activities in her life. | |
| Fall Out Boy performed "Sugar, We're Goin Down" | ||
| Fire Alert 300 | Rerun from October 29, 2005 and November 19, 2005. | |
| Goodnights and Closing Credits | Natalie Portman thanked Fall Out Boy, Dennis Haysbert, Lorne Michaels, the cast and crew for making her feel so at home, her mom and dad. |
Trivia[]
- This is the first episode of the season in which every single cast member appeared in an episode.
- Dennis Haysbert made a guest appearance during the Robert Smigel cartoon "Belated Black History Moment".
- Longtime Former SNL cast member Tracy Morgan provided his voice during the Robert Smigel cartoon.
- During The Needlers sketch one of the names on the building's exterior is Dr. Ken Aymong. Ken Aymong worked as one of the show's producers at the time.
- This is the 4th and final appearance of The Needlers, due to Seth Meyers (who was already head writer at this time), taking over as Weekend Update co-anchor next season, alongside Amy Poehler.
- This is the 4th appearance of Nuni and Nuni Schoener Art Dealers.
- This is the 10th and final appearance of Wake Up Wakefield.
| Preceded by: February 4, 2006 |
Saturday Night Live episode | Followed by: March 11, 2006 |